Earlier today James got a call from his sister, Steph (hi Steph, hope you’re reading), to say that James is getting $3000.00 from his mom’s insurance payout. He didn’t expect to get it but his mom had written a letter before she passed stating that she did want him and his sister to get a $3000.00 portion of the insurance each. James wasn’t really counting on it or anything since it wasn’t a legal will and he didn’t know if his dad would honor it.
Happily (in a sad way), his dad is honoring it and that is where the odd feeling comes. Since I’ve never experienced inheriting any money from a passed on relative, I’m struggling with what to feel about it. Of course, anyone would rather have their loved one back, than the money, but, unless you’re Bill Gates, most times the money is welcomed and truly needed. Since James has been off work and we’ve not even been able to pay rent this month, the money is…well, a gift from above, really. ((Thank you Mom B, God Bless!))
At first I think James was relieved. In two ways: one, that he didn’t have to anticipate a disagreement with his dad, and two, that a weight has been lifted because the money will do us so much good. We will be able to pay back rent, cable bill, cell phone bill that has been shut off since we couldn’t afford it and we’ll still have more than half left.
But again, there’s that bad feeling….guilt almost. I’m pretty sure James was feeling it too but didn’t want to say anything. It’s hard to get excited about it but wow, the feeling of that weight leaving is immense and…joyful. Things are finally going to be ok. With this money and James being back to work full time…it’s really going to be ok. I feel horrible to be almost giddy with that knowledge.
James, being the most unselfish man I know, just wants to get his hunting lisence…only a couple hundred dollars. Me, being a bit selfish, asked if we could get a new PC since this one is almost 7 or 8 years old. Hopefully he’ll agree since, while it’s not something we absolutely need, it’s not likely that this one will last much longer without problems and we may not be in this position in the future to outright purchase a new one. And Staples has some great desktops on sale for less than $800.00. Anyhow, it’s just a thought floating around right now.
I just hope eveything works out ok. I hope that James comes to accept the money as the gift I’m sure his mom intended it to be and not as a burden or ill gotten gain meant to cause him guilt or pain. I hope his mom and mine are resting peacefully above us. I hope…well, I guess I just hope.
Night all.
