…that I updated this dear blog of mine. It hit me tonight I hadn’t posted since my incredibly morbid post below and I’ve missed it!!
I’m doing much better lately…definitely much better than I was the last time I posted 
Summer was good. I actually had a job for a few months…from May til August. I worked retail sales in an adult boutique and loved it. Unfortunately the owner closed the damn store suddenly. It was great while it lasted and I was feelin’ fine.
After that I kind of went blah for awhile…then in September, BAM!, I started having panic attacks for no apparent reason. I didn’t know it then though. I thought I was DYING!! After going to the ER thinking I was having a heart attack I discovered it was panic attacks and they gave me an Ativan and sent me on my way. I continued to have daily panic attacks for a couple of weeks that went on for hours. Every little thing was stressing me out so much I thought I would explode or cry forever. I finally went to my doctor and he diagnosed me with Panic Disorder and put me on Effexor XR. I’ve been on it for about 5 weeks now and though I was nervous about it after reading about it’s side effects, it’s been working great. No major attacks in about 4 weeks and though I still have alot of racing, sad, worrying thoughts, I’m grateful to have made some progress.
To add to things, James and I decided to give up our dog, Scooter. With all that was happening with my health and with me not wanting to leave the apartment, it just wasn’t fair to keep such an active, hyper dog. I loved having him and we found him a great home with an active family that has a great big yard for him and they own pet stores so I know he will get what he needs. It was hard for me though and I hope he is happy with his new family. He deserves it.
On the plus side, last week we got a kitten, Emmy, and she is just what I needed. She is a sweet little love-bug and she makes me smile often.
On a bigger plus side, my wonderfully amazing best friend and neighbor, Val, is pregnant!! No one deserves a special bundle from heaven more than she does. She has wanted it and waited so long and is the most nuturing, motherly person I know so I am a billion percent positive she will be an amazing mommy. And I will be the best Auntie EVER!! I may never have a baby of my own but I will love her child like my own and do anything for her and the lil peanut.
James and I are pretty good as well I’d say. I love him so much. I don’t know what I would do without him. He has been nothing but kind and supportive through all my crap and I owe him more than I can ever express. He’s been happy…especially since hunting season started this month. Ick! So not my thing but it makes him happy and he asks for so little…he deserves to go and rough it up, lol.
“Love is about knowing all the facts–good and bad–and caring about the person anyway. Where romance is nuance, love is encyclopedic.” -Lainie Keslin Ettinger
